아바타 더 라스트 에어벤더 Can somebody please review my story of what happens when Zuko goes to serch for his mother?

NickyChan2013 posted on Aug 06, 2010 at 02:39AM
I am only 13, and have no writing skills what so ever, so yes there will be spelling mistakes and grammer errors. this is chapter one.


The sun shined down on my face as i layed in the tall grass in our yard. Right now mother was taking care of my baby sister Mia, who wasn't yet two. I on the other hand am 13. My twin brother Myde and i got into an argument, so mother banished me into the yard to 'play'. She dosn't realize that the last thing a 13 year old wants to do is play outside alone. I watched carefully as an ant climbed up a blade of grass that was too thin to support him, and the grass bent out of his controle. This reminded me of my life. My father was a very strong earthbander named Rye. My mothers name is Ursa.
My mother dosn't like to speak of her childhood, and my brother and i eventually stopped asking questions like, where she was born or had she ever fell in love before dad. Our father had died of a longtime illness. It was no surprise. He died 2 weeks before Mia was born.
I was so deep in thought, that i didn't realize someone had aproached me. Mom told me not to trust anybody, since there was a war, she didn't want me kidnapped. Surprised, i spang to my feet in an attacking position. I was a firebender, and had no idea why.
The unknown person lowered his hood, to reveal his face. His scar. I relaxed, waiting for him to speak. Probably for directions. He looked about 17.
He took a deap breath, and reached into his pocket. I stared puzzled. He removed a picture, though i couldn't see what was on it because he had it face down.
"Hello". He said, stareing at his feet.
"Hi? do you need anything? because i really need to get home..." I stared, when he reaveled the picture to me.
The picture was of my mother.
"Have you by any chance seen this woman?", he sounded hopeless like he's asked this question many times before, but never gotten the answer he wanted.
"Thats my mother"
His eyes widened as he gave mwe a sickening look as if i were some vile creature. I began to feel scared.
"Thats. your. mother" He said pausing between every word like he was serching for a way out.
"Yeah, who are you anyways?"
"My name is Zuko, im here to find Ursa"
"What do you want with my mom, Zuko?"
He paused, then looked away into the distance so i couldn't see his eyes.
"Shes my mother too"

아바타 더 라스트 에어벤더 2 replies

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over a year ago BlindBandit92 said…
smile
Nice beginning.
over a year ago trixie123 said…
smile
You should totally do more. That was great!!