My cousin does not clean up and it frustrates me

My cousin is coming over my place for some foreign matchmake tours which he registered for. He lives in the United States and he has been single since his college days. He’s such a sweet man and he’s quite gullible. He is like a father figure to my kids whenever he’s around at 집 especially whenever my husband is away for work. I really have no problem except whenever he’s at my house, he never cleans up after himself. For instance, if he’s done using the dishes, cups, 또는 부엌, 주방 utensils, he never washes them. I always have to force him into cleaning up. He has always been like this since we were young. But for goodness sake, he’s already a middle-aged adult, he should no longer depend on others to clean up after him. What should I do about this? How do I effectively talk him into becoming 더 많이 responsible when it comes to cleaning up.

 maryjean28 posted over a year ago
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Karoii-chan said:
Hello there!

It would seem as if your cousin isn't used to cleaning up his messes. I mean, who wouldn't be, especially if they've been living alone and left to their own devices from such an early age? There was nobody to give him orders to clean up, 또는 nag him to get everything tidy, maybe he'd often leave his house uncleaned for long periods of time only because nobody was there to tell him to do so.

당신 might also get 더 많이 annoyed 의해 this because 당신 have young children to raise. This is already very stressful and the tension basically escalates when an old enough man (who you'd think as responsible and reliable) displays such... uh... carelessness.

It might not be his fault. Maybe he's exhausted from some health issue which he hasn't told 당신 (e.g asthma, something common) yet? What if he's secretly depressed? What if he just doesn't know how to clean up properly, as ridiculous as it may seem?

당신 don't have to be so harsh with him. Try using a kinder, 더 많이 gentler, 더 많이 understanding approach. He's family, after all - and I believe that if one's family doesn't offer emotional support, then that's very heartbreaking and shameful.

의해 all means, I'm not accusing 당신 또는 anything! Don't take me the wrong way.

Another reason could be that he's here as your guest. In some mindsets and cultures, the guests usually don't do any work while they stay at someone else's house. They get treated with respect and comfort - most of the times, it's the host who does all the work for them.

Maybe he follows this style? 당신 can always ask him about it.

You've also mentioned that he's been like this ever since he was young. That indicates an excessive indulgence in sloth and procrastination - something which I can very easily relate to. It's not easy to combat sloth. He could be motivated to do his own work 의해 encouraging comments, words of appreciation and praise, 또는 maybe even some therapy if the matter's serious.

If he doesn't clean up even after all this, then 당신 could consider hiring a maid...?
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 Hello there! It would seem as if your cousin isn't used to cleaning up his messes. I mean, who wouldn't be, especially if they've been living alone and left to their own devices from such an early age? There was nobody to give him orders to clean up, 또는 nag him to get everything tidy, maybe he'd often leave his house uncleaned for long periods of time only because nobody was there to tell him to do so. 당신 might also get 더 많이 annoyed 의해 this because 당신 have young children to raise. This is already very stressful and the tension basically escalates when an old enough man (who you'd think as responsible and reliable) displays such... uh... carelessness. It might not be his fault. Maybe he's exhausted from some health issue which he hasn't told 당신 (e.g asthma, something common) yet? What if he's secretly depressed? What if he just doesn't know how to clean up properly, as ridiculous as it may seem? 당신 don't have to be so harsh with him. Try using a kinder, 더 많이 gentler, 더 많이 understanding approach. He's family, after all - and I believe that if one's family doesn't offer emotional support, then that's very heartbreaking and shameful. 의해 all means, I'm not accusing 당신 또는 anything! Don't take me the wrong way. Another reason could be that he's here as your guest. In some mindsets and cultures, the guests usually don't do any work while they stay at someone else's house. They get treated with respect and comfort - most of the times, it's the host who does all the work for them. Maybe he follows this style? 당신 can always ask him about it. You've also mentioned that he's been like this ever since he was young. That indicates an excessive indulgence in sloth and procrastination - something which I can very easily relate to. It's not easy to combat sloth. He could be motivated to do his own work 의해 encouraging comments, words of appreciation and praise, 또는 maybe even some therapy if the matter's serious. If he doesn't clean up even after all this, then 당신 could consider hiring a maid...?
posted over a year ago 
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